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WHERE ARE YOUR FEET?
Do you ever feel as though you have one foot in your current home, and the other foot in your original home?
When you’re in your current home, you miss your family and birth country and culture, but when you visit your original home, it just doesn’t feel the way it used to.
When you’re there, there’s something missing.
When you’re here, there’s something missing.
And where are you in all of this?
Straddling the great stretch of lands and oceans with one foot in each “home”, trying not to fall into the space in-between and lose yourself completely in limbo-land?
Desperately attempting to maintain a balancing act that’s worthy of a performance in a travelling circus, heart and energies always divided?
Here's the thing about that . . .
When we have our feet in two different places, we lose our equilibrium.
We’re never quite happy in either place.
We never quite know who we want to be.
So here are my 3 steps to standing securely and confidently where you are, while still feeling connected to "home".
1. Make a decision
You are where you are right now.
For whatever reason, you’ve decided to be there.
Maybe it’s temporary.
Maybe it’s permanent.
But here you are.
Now I’m all for sweet talk. For choosing words that feel good. For being aware of how words make us feel. Always have been, ever since I was little.
But lately I’ve noticed that from time to time a bit of straight-to-the-point, no-messing-about tough love can do the world of good!
So, my friend, I say this to myself as much as I am now saying it to you . . .
You’re just going to have to re-confirm your decision, to yourself and for yourself.
You are where you are and that’s it.
Unless you have serious intentions of moving “back home”, there is absolutely no positive outcome from this crazy balancing act where you miss out on the bliss of feeling completely aligned with your choices (and more importantly, aligned with yourself).
And even if you do intend to eventually move back home, you are still where you are right now. And until you master and apply the science of quantum physics and can consciously be in two places and live two separate versions of yourself at once, you’re not doing yourself any favours by tip-toeing around your life feeling the lack of whatever it is that’s over there and not here. Or vice versa.
So, what’s it to be?
Wibbling and wobbling as you straddle the lands and seas and try not to fall in?
Or . . .
Feeling sturdy and strong where you are and figuring out how to celebrate all the goodness of a life that encompasses a special blend of people, cultures and experiences?
Simply make your decision, one way or the other.
2. Be happy with your decision
Next step is to decide to be happy with your decision.
Say it out loud.
“I’m deciding to be happy with my choice.”
You can make new choices any time, but right now you’re choosing this.
Now be happy about it.
3. Know who you are.
Use the strength of your unique identity to set you free.
Know who you are.
More than what nationality you are.
More than the cultures you’ve experienced.
Know who you are in your heart, as a woman, as a human, and cultivate that on purpose.
Then . . .
Layer all your magical memories around you like a silk scarf. Style them in a way that amplifies all your qualities and makes you feel fabulous.
Realise that you are a woman who has naturally expanded who she is from the simple act of living.
And especially from the brave and profoundly expansive act of reinventing herself in a new country.
You have broadened your horizons.
Seen a variety of ways in which people live their lives.
Lived your own life in a variety of ways.
And grown from that.
Oooooh, how you have grown.
So of course you’re going to see and feel everything from an expanded perspective.
And that will be a fabulous thing, as soon as you want it to be.
And therein lies the magic, once again, in your decision to allow it all to be ok.
Better than ok.
Stupendous. Tremendous. Mind-blowing.
You will find new ways to connect deeply with family and friends. You will find ways to bring the warm, fuzzy feelings of home into your current environment so that you feel uplifted and fulfilled when you walk in your front door.
And you can decide to be happy with that.
Allow it to unfold.
Anticipate the new.
And be happy to be yourself. This newest version of you.
If it feels good to do so, you could describe to your loved ones back home how you’re discovering more and more about who you are and that you’re choosing the aspects that you love about each of your cultures and styling them around the essence of you.
So if you seem a bit different, it’s because you are a bit different.
And you’re also a bit the same.
And you love that mix.
You could share the way things are done differently in your current home, that you really like some of these things, and that over time these things have become a new part of you.
Just like there are things that you really like from growing up in your birth home, and that they are a part of you, too.
But at the foundation of it all, there is just you.
A woman who has innate qualities and desires and dreams and is constantly growing and discovering what she values in life.
A woman who, when she thinks of all the great things about both homes, she smiles.
So, gorgeous, find the thoughts around both homes that make you smile.
Decide to be happy about your decision to grow where you are.
Then walk out that door and live your life . . . fully . . . completely . . . as the sure-footed, free-to-choose, ever-evolving woman that you are.
You know exactly where your feet are; both of them.
They're guiding you closer to yourself.
Would you like to stay up to date with the progress of my new book?
It's going to be called, The Chic Immigrant - 60 ways to create an inspired life in a new country.
How fun! I'll just need your email address.
You can share that here.