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That delightful feeling of comfort and familiarity.
Thanks to our clever technology, we can now connect with those we love "back home" in a way that would have felt like science fiction a couple of decades ago. Although it doesn't match the bliss of being enveloped in a warm human hug, it's certainly the next best thing.
But there's more to homesickness than the desire to be surrounded by our special people. When you look a little deeper, there are particular emotions and thoughts at play when we feel homesick. Emotions and thoughts that reveal an underlying desire.
Wouldn't it be lovely if we could play with that underlying desire and transform the sensation of homesickness into something empowering and uplifting?
After all, that's a part of our chic immigrant definition - styling our lives for joy - and part of that is knowing some tricks for dealing with the yucky stuff.
So this week, let's see how we might re-style homesickness by adding some chic magic!
I have four special things you can do to transform homesickness into something empowering.
These processes are actually really empowering skills that will build up your chic immigrant muscles.
They may take time to cultivate, like a beautiful work of art, so remember to be sweet to yourself as you gradually master each element. AND, focus on having fun with it! I know it seems odd to imagine having fun with sad feelings (homesickness does tend to feel sad), BUT if you focus on the process and in discovering how clever you can be lifting yourself to a higher place, then you can really change your whole perspective.
How very chic of you!
Okay, let’s go . . . let’s begin flexing these special muscles!
1. Acknowledge the feeling that you’re reaching for.
Have you noticed that the times you truly miss home are the times when things are not quite going to plan? That when all is going well and you’re feeling happy, feelings of homesickness don’t really show up?
Notice next time you miss home. What’s happening in your life at that moment that is bringing on that desire for home.
And then ask yourself, “What is it that I really desire? What is the feeling that I’m missing that I think home will fulfil?”
It will often be a desire for
It can happen especially in times of unexpected or undesired change – losing a job, having to move house, separating from a partner, feeling bored or uninspired or lonely. So instead of focusing on what you don’t have or want, choose instead to focus on the emotion that you do want.
Once you’ve acknowledged the emotion you’re reaching for, you can go out and create that for yourself right where you are! Sure, it might not happen immediately, but being aware of how you want to feel will open up possibilities of feeling it.
To begin with, say to yourself, “That’s it, that’s what I want to feel, I want to feel comfort. Of course I want to feel comfort – things are changing in a way that I wasn’t expecting, so it’s normal to feel this way. You’re ok, girl. You’ll find your way. You have before and you will again, that’s for sure. Now go and snuggle up with a good book or a lovely movie and a hot drink, soothe yourself and allow things to unfold for you. You’ll see, things always work out for you in the end. You can trust your life.”
As you gently soothe and comfort yourself, after a little while you’ll feel little sparks of desire to do things that make you feel better.
- You’re inviting the sensation of trust to enter; trust in yourself and trust in the path of your life.
- You’re guiding yourself towards better-feeling thoughts, thereby creating lighter emotions. And that's the path to empowerment.
2. Cultivate the art of feeling home wherever you are in the world.
This one is really powerful, and as you begin to master it, you will feel yourself lifted into a different state of being.
I remember thinking to myself, “I want to go home” on a couple of occasions throughout my life when I had kind of lost myself, and my confidence and self-belief was wobbling big-time. And yet, I was not only in my home country, but in my own home and close to my parents' home.
I realised that what I was really wanting was to feel that sense of being at home with myself – reconnecting with my personal power and the sense of freedom and joy that comes with that.
Have you ever been there?
So, imagine taking all the warm, fuzzy feelings of "home" - security, comfort, love, support, strength - and carrying it with you everywhere you go.
Wouldn't that feel great?!
What if you designed your own new definition of "home," one that doesn't rely on you being "over there" or "with those people", but that you could plug into within yourself?
A definition that feels empowering and uplifting.
One that you can tap into at any time to recharge your sense of self, re-boot your confidence, and re-align with your values.
When you cultivate this art, you can feel at home wherever you are in the world.
Because home is you.
Here are some of my ideas from my book, Your Native Language is Your Superpower (Reinventing Yourself With Joy in a New Country); I hope they help you to define a sense of home that will come from inside of you, rather than from people or a place.
Our new definition of home:
• The feeling of being totally yourself
• Of feeling magnificent in your own experience
• Of relishing your values
• Of anticipating with delight the new things to come
• Of being the heroine (female for hero) of your own story
• A sensation of deep trust in yourself and your life
• A happy peace with where you’re at, anticipating more
• A gentleness with your emotions when they wobble
• An overall sensation of serene confidence in yourself
and your life.
Home. Your Sweet Spot.
3. Embrace homesickness as a reminder of your big heart full of love.
Yessss! That beautiful big heart of yours. What a special woman you are to have collected sweet feelings and powerful desires for the well-being of the people you love and care about. For family as well as for other hearts that you’ve collected along your travels.
That’s worth feeling good about!
4. Create the warm, fuzzy feelings of home in your environment.
Now this one really is fun!
Think colours, fabrics, fragrances, sounds.
Things that hit the senses and make you smile.
That wrap you up in the magic of home in the most uplifting ways.
Photos and images of home IF they make you feel good.
That’s a really important tip . . . every item that you add must make you smile. If anything that you include in your environment triggers feelings of distance or sadness or homesickness, remove it instantly! You want everything in your space to trigger bubbles of happiness and good-feels.
How could you create the feeling of that image of home that you love, without the image?
Is it the angle of the sun in the photo, the colour of the flowers, the twinkle of the ocean?
What about adding fairly lights for twinkle, a lamp that creates a warm ambiance, opening blinds or curtains at just the right angle to create that feeling. Yellow cushions for sunshine. Framed prints of colourful flowers or abstract colours. Fragranced candles, pot pourris, fresh flowers, beautiful soaps for that enticing scent.
Get creative here and let your unique chic shine as you conger all those inspiring feelings of home!
And now for a little bonus point; a cute trick that I call . . .
This is an added bit of cuteness for those moments when you want to either just allow yourself to feel all the feels of missing home and be happy doing that, OR give yourself a little lift.
You get to choose or buy a pair of Happiness Socks.
You have to actually call them that; Happiness Socks.
You get to wear them around the house, and every time you put them on, you can wriggle your toes in glee and say to yourself,
“Ooooh, I’m wearing my Happiness Socks!”
Happiness is so fun and silly! And that’s always empowering.
I hope these few ideas have triggered some inspired thoughts of your own.
Remember, being a chic immigrant opens doors to the most wonderful personal upliftment.
You got this, gorgeous!
Would you like to stay up to date with the progress of my new book?
It's going to be called, The Chic Immigrant - 60 ways to create an inspired life in a new country.
How fun! I'll just need your email address.
You can share that here.